autumn

The first day of autumn coincided with the full Harvest moon last week. Though I'm not religious, the cosmic coincidence did feel portentous to me. The last few years, autumn is a time of emotional upheaval for me. On the one hand, it's a time of year I love, filled with outrageous, flaming, golden beauty. I'm reminded of the last of my pregnancy with my sweet boy. The harvest season is in full swing. The promise of cozy winters hunkered in with knitting and hot cocoa and skiing flirt in the anticipatory centers of my mind. The autumn sun is strong and sharp and it's warm glow feels like a glorious gift.

But, for me the pleasures of these last 3 autumns have been heavily tempered by my annual agonizing over whether we can move into our house before winter strikes. Winter on my mountain, while beautiful and white and as splendid as winter can get, arrives unpredictably and irrefutably on her own time-table. And once she's here, my world changes dramatically.

So, I scurry about like the grasshopper in Aesop's morality fable, trying to accept whole-heartedly the moments of stunning beauty surrounding me, fending off (sometimes unsuccessfully) the panic of uncertainty and fear of homelessness. Will this winter be the winter I live in my home for the first time? Only time and lots of hard work will tell.

In the meantime, I'll do my best to soak in these fleeting, golden, gorgeous autumn-y moments while they're here.

Autumn on the move — looking east from my new kitchen

Pear crisp at an autumn equinox celebration

Autumn blooms

Building shelter for winter

Golden carpet

Autumn color wheel